


The Closer You Get To Something

by Oakmilk



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 17:40:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15345072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oakmilk/pseuds/Oakmilk
Summary: Naruto realizes everything too late.





	The Closer You Get To Something

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t posted anything in a while so here’s a small drabble I wrote.

Naruto didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it.

Everyone always told him he wasn’t the brightest and he knew he wasn’t the most observant, but this was so glaringly obvious he wasn’t sure how even _he_ didn’t realize it sooner.

Sasuke had been in love with him.

Sasuke had been in love with him and now he was gone, taken away by a dark wind that had swept him up and robbed him from Naruto’s futile grasp.

Taken him to a place Naruto couldn’t reach no matter how desperately he tried, no matter how painfully he extended his arms and screamed and shouted, joints popping out of place and sockets and yet his wingspan still wasn’t enough to get to Sasuke.

He really was an idiot, wasn’t he?

——-

He could tell by the pitying glances and sad gazes that followed him everywhere he went that they thought he was in love with Sasuke too.

He’d scoff to himself and shove his hands in his pockets, ignoring the stares on his back in favor of focusing his mind on the slap of his sandals on the stone walkways and the sounds of the family owned shops that lined the streets closing down for the evening.

He couldn’t blame the wetness on his cheeks or the burning in his eyes on the fading sunlight but chose to regardless.

It was easier that way.

——-

He considered training with Jiraiya as a blessing, a reprieve from Konoha, the village he had lived in his whole life and only recently starting calling home.

An absence of remorseful looks and shoulder pats that he didn’t want or need.

He only wanted one thing now really.

He’d bring Sasuke back even if he had to break all the bones in his body.

But the one thing he’d never break was his promise.

He could mend his bones, stitch up his flesh and bandage his wounds any day, take medicine for aches and pains or tough it out either way.

But during lonely nights as he lay on his back, eyes on the litter of stars above him while sleep eluded him, he wondered if he could fix both him and Sasuke.

Did Sasuke even want to be fixed?

He would chide himself for the rare thoughts of doubt he was once and a while prone to, teeth gritting as he attempted to ebb the flow of unknown moisture that pricked at his eyes (because they couldn’t be tears, he’d never cry over Sasuke) and hands twisting into fists as he bowed his head down low.

Jiraiya never once mentioned his outbursts, something he found himself growing increasingly grateful for as the years went on.

But time always seemed to catch up with him in the best and worst ways and soon he was heading back to Konoha to face the community he had left behind.

He grinned and called it a homecoming, one fit for a hero surely, and Jiraiya would snort and clap him on the back, guiding him closer to the village where he belonged.

Where he and Sasuke both belonged.

He swallowed a lump in his throat.

——-

It was a long mission.

A failed mission.

He had seen Sasuke, touched him, mouth to ear and shoulder to shoulder, felt his cold blade near him only to be intercepted by Sai and felt his world break as Sasuke spoke to Orochimaru and retreat without so much as a passing glance.

And despite how much he had trained and worked and _prayed_ , despite the fact that they had been face to face, he still hadn’t been able to save his friend.

And now he was gone again, leaving Naruto surrounded by people but more alone than he’d ever felt before.

The tears that slid down his face were nothing more and nothing less than what they were. He couldn’t deny them any longer.

He couldn’t keep lying to himself.

——

The knock on his apartment door startled him but he couldn’t find the energy to move out from under the pile of blankets he’d been under all morning.

The knocking stopped and Naruto waited to hear retreating footsteps, surprised when instead he heard the door swing open.

“Naruto?”

Of course only Sai would be socially inept enough to just barge into someone else’s apartment.

He made no acknowledgment, just burrowed deeper into his cocoon and shut his eyes in hopes the other would just leave.

Of course he wouldn’t.

The blankets were lifted off his frame and he hissed, morning light filtering through his window and casting directly into his eyes.

“There you are.”

Naruto rubbed at his eyes before squinting up at Sai. “What do you want?”

Sai smiled slightly. “I read that you should bring your friends a gift when they are feeling down.” He extended his pale palm down to Naruto, in it an apple.

Naruto regarded it carefully before sniffing and turning over in bed, back facing Sai. “I don’t want it. Go away.”

He groaned when he heard his bed dip down slightly and creak, Sai having sat down on the edge.

“Are you still upset about Sasuke?”

Naruto snapped into a sitting position, eyes forming slits as he glared at Sai. “What do you think, asshole?!”

Sai just smiled infuriatingly calmly back at him, eyes closed and head tilted. “Ah, I was right, wasn’t I?”

Naruto growled and lunged forward, grabbing a fistful of Sai’s collar and slamming him against the headboard. “Stop it! Stop acting like it’s no big deal! You have no idea!”

Sai’s eyes opened. His smile wavered before becoming wistful. “You’re right. I was not close to Sasuke like you were.”

Naruto’s eyes widened, grip on the other’s shirt loosening before curling his fist tighter again. “That’s right!”

Sai nodded. “You two were special to each other.”

 _Special_.

Naruto sucked in a breath, for some reason feeling like he was just sucker punched. His hand fell from Sai’s shirt and landed in his own lap. He stared down at his palms. “Yeah. I guess we were.”

He felt a hand land on his shoulder and rest there carefully for a moment. “You know, the closer you are to something, the tougher it is to see it.”

Naruto lifted his head up to meet Sai’s eyes. The other boy smiled genuinely at him.

“I should be going,” Sai said after a moment, removing his hand from Naruto’s shoulder and standing up. He picked the discarded apple up off the bed and sat it on Naruto’s bedside table, gathering his things before walking towards the door. As he stood in the doorway Naruto called out to him.

“Oi!”

Sai turned back to look at him. “Yes?”

Naruto swallowed thickly. “Thanks.”

Sai gave him a small smile and nodded. “Of course. That’s what friends are for.”

And with that he was gone, door shutting behind him and clicking closed.

And Naruto was alone again, but this time with more clarity.

——-

Naruto didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it.

He knew he wasn’t the brightest or most observant, but this was so glaringly obvious he didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it sooner.

He had been in love with Sasuke.

 _Was in love with Sasuke_.

 

Everyone had seen it but him.

He really was an idiot, wasn’t he?

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I did make Sai quote the fourth Naruto opening.


End file.
